Hi! Are you ready to get punched in the face with adorable? Meet “Wegan” – a femme-femme couple comprised of Whitney and Megan:
Megan (left) & Whitney
They blog about their lives together at What Wegan Did Next, and they are our newest Featured Femmes on a Mission! (For more featured femmes, click here.)
I recently had the chance to ask them a few questions about femme identity, their coming-out process, and more. Here are their answers!
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How do you define femme? What does it mean to you?
We would define femme in terms of feminine features, personality and in dress sense. For example, we consider ourselves femme due to being geared towards fashion, hair and makeup.
Of course anyone can love all these, but it’s a way that you present yourself that we guess would be considered feminine to society. We love to swap clothes, share perfume, get ready together, dress up for one another etc.
We would define ourselves as feminine and therefore see ourselves as ‘femme’.
How do you feel about the term “lipstick lesbian”? I have met many femmes who feel uncomfortable about the phrase for a number a reasons, including a sense that it is in some way a term made up by a male audience as a way to sexually objectify femmes who date other femmes. How do you personally feel about the phrase? Is it comfortable for you?
We personally love the phrase ‘lipstick lesbian’. However, Megan is more of a lipgloss lesbian if you want to get technical ;) (she can’t leave the house without it!)
We have both used lipstick lesbian for years and don’t take any offense to it or think of it in any male terms. We don’t feel that it is objectifying us, simply identifying the type of lesbians that we are. Growing up, there were not many lesbians that we could look up to or identify with. Finding the term ‘lipstick lesbian’ seemed to fit perfectly and make sense.
If at all, how do you think your femme presentation affected your coming out process and/or the way others responded to your coming out?
We both think being femme made our lives easier. We both never experienced any verbal or physical homophobia after coming out, and we feel that this may be due to the fact we were not the usual stereotype. Whitney was however isolated from her friends and school friends when she first came out.
Being femme made it slightly easier for our parents to cope with us being gay, as we stayed exactly the same and did not alter our identities. Both of our mums were very worried that we would have come home with a butch lesbian, and when they realized that we were into fellow femmes, it sadly made them more supportive and at ease. This is perhaps due to their lack of education around LGB issues at the time, but also represented they had a fear of us being identified as gay and receive subsequent discrimination if we were to be seen with a butch lesbian. (F.o.a.M.: This sounds a lot like the experiences I wrote about in Femme: the “acceptable” lesbian? )
Just for fun, if you could only shop from one store/company for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Whitney: Nordstrom (I like a variety!)
Megan: (ooh this is hard!) Well I can wear what Whitney buys at Nordstrom ;) so I’ll go for Victoria Secret! Ooh yeah.
What is your favorite part of being femme? Least favorite?
Favorite part of being femme is feeling pretty, swapping clothes with your partner and representing that you can be proud, gay and also stay true to who you are and remain feminine. We feel like we are more accepted by society but this also has a negative side in being assumed as straight (which we hate). We may often be invisible as gay, but we definitely don’t let us slip under the radar!
As a couple, what has been your experience in public settings? Do people ever have a hard time believing/accepting that you are gay, and that you are together? If so, how do you respond?
This is a good question! We tend to be rather publically affectionate, though we definitely take hold of our surroundings and censor ourselves around particular people we think may give us trouble or make remarks (which is sad).
We haven’t received many comments when we’re out, though we have for example, had old women give us dirty looks and even a middle aged guy said ‘lesbians!’ to us once… like.. .duh! THOUGH we do experience quite a lot of attention from men, which we try to avoid at all costs.
It does get very irritating when we’re trying to have a nice day or night out and get approached by men; who when finding out we’re a couple don’t take that as a cue to leave… rather they stick around. What are they waiting for? For us to have a three some? Change our minds? UM NO. GO AWAY!
Have any advice for little baby-femmes?
Yes! This is one of the main reasons for our blogs. As we said, growing up there was no one out there femme for us to identify with. Years on, there still isn’t really many apart from Portia De Rossi or Amber Heard. Therefore we want little baby femmes to see us and realize that you can stay femme and stay true to yourself (if that is who you are). & that yes others do exist like you, and yes you will find love! (Whether it’s with a fellow femme or whatever your type is).
Is there anything you would like to add?
We would like to thank Julia once again for featuring us and we hope you enjoyed our answers. Please do check out our blog! www.whatwegandidnext.com
Love
Wegan X
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Told you they were adorable! Be sure to check out their Real Life Lesbians campaign, where they are gathering photos of everyday lesbians as a way to combat invisibility and show the world, “Yes we do exist, and yes we come in all different looks, shapes and sizes!” My picture is up there – be sure to add yours!
For their commitment to fighting femme invisibility, I hereby dub Wegan fearless femmes on a mission!
Are they not the cutest couple? Have any questions for Wegan? Ask them in the comments!
femme on a mission 
OMG cutest couple ever!
Aww thanks so much! :) x
LOVED the interview. I read this and it was almost like looking in the mirror. My answers would have been so similar to there’s. As least from my past history. Even though Jess is femme she took a different path to where she is now.
Great post and thanks for sharing :) Kara XOXOXO
Glad that you loved it Kara! That’s great that the answers are so similar to yours! Megan xx
Adore! I am really jealous for both beeing open about it. I can’t do it, because guys sometimes also sexualize the fact, that two woman can love each other! You are a good role model