I’d like to do a post of great social and political import, via the great Janis Joplin. This is to address the age-old question: COMFORTABLE SHOES or PRETTY SHOES???
If anyone has a pair of those elusive shoes that meet both criteria, please let me know. I’ve only met one such pair in my lifetime – some black peep-toes that were ruined in a particularly fantastic night of dancing on muddy grass.
It was Halloween; I went as a very makeshift Rizzo. It was one of those last minute costumes, but I am pretty proud of my homemade cigarette – I rolled up a piece of printer paper and colored one end with a marker to give the appearance of ash; it came out pretty realistic-looking actually. (don’tsmokekidsstayinschool) Here I am with Sandy and Danny, cropped to protect the guilty!
I'm on the right, trying to channel Rizzo attitude
These photos from that night a couple of years ago capture the very last breaths of my favorite comfortable heels. I actually went about a year without even attempting to find a replacement, but finally gave in when I needed a pair to go with my Valentine’s Day outfit.
Reader, I have a confession to make. Even though I say that I want to “change the world in my best high heels,” I don’t actually wear them that often. SCANDAL, I know. An ankle injury in high school prevented me from wearing them for a little while, but to be perfectly honest, it’s the practical lesbian in me who just won’t let me wear heels. I can’t tell you the number of times I put on a pair with every intention of wearing them, then right as I’m walking out the door – and a few times even after it has closed behind me – I change my mind, run back into the apartment, and trade them for something more comfortable and, inevitably, less cute. Isn’t that always the way?
A few months ago, I went to the mall, and let me tell you, I was a real femme on a mission – a mission to find a comfortable pair of high heels. I worked with a sales associate with the most perfect hair I have ever seen; I told her so at the end of our interaction and she said I “made her night.” We really had a fun time together, with the common goal (of great social and political import, clearly!) of finding me the perfect pair.
I settled on these Jessica Simpson black patent-leather peep-toes:
taking this photo = not as easy as it looks, also please don
The price was right, and the sales associate told me that Jessica makes “heels for people who never wear heels.” And, as much as it pains me to admit, this femme belongs in that category.
But, dear reader, can I tell you a secret? I’ve only worn them once. They just aren’t as comfortable as I hoped they would be. And nothing lives up to the fated pair that met their death on Halloween night.
Can anyone help a girl out?
femme on a mission 
what a night it was! i love your blog, i’m saying LLLLOOOOVVEE! you are such an amazing writer and i love hearing your voice in your posts. you’re the bestest, you badass brave femme. i love you!
p.s. i’ve been wearing more heels in the last few months than the rest of my life cumulatively, i’ve stopped caring about being 6’2″ – and i’ve found a thicker heel helps, tall but chunky. avoid the damn stilettos i don’t care how good your ass looks in them
Sasa I love you too!
Thanks for the tip on the thicker heels. I will def try that out next time I go on a shoe hunt. Also, those geometric style, chunkier-looking heels are pretty in, I think?
Kudos to you for forgetting about height and rocking the heels – taller is better. Even Aristotle thought so. ;)
Oh boy, do I have news for you … Mark’s fucking Work Warehouse. They don’t just make wool socks and knee pads, they make ladies’ heels, and not only are the pair I bought among the comfiest shoes (high- or low-heeled) that I own, they have special non-slip soles! I often wear them when I know I’ll be walking on wet or icy sidewalks. Oh, and did I mention that they’re four inches tall? I often change into them when my feet hurt from other heels. That’s right.